Thoughts

Sitting alone on a sidewalk bench, watching the people walk by on the street, I ponder one question: If I disappeared, who would look for me?

I see all of these unknown faces rushing past without giving me a second glance, busy going wherever they’re going, focused on their own issues… They could never tell by just looking at me if I was lost or not. And even if they did know, would they care?

I mean, if I were to disappear, I'm sure some people would be worried and try to reach me, maybe even send out a search party when it became apparent that I wasn’t returning. I have a lot of friends. Many people wave at me or say hi when we pass by each other and make conversation in the cafeteria line. There are a lot of people who would call themselves my friends. But if I went missing and as the days and weeks passed by, would I still be a priority? I know some of them would try at first to find me, but after a while I'd just be another prayer request on their long lists. Maybe in a few years, when they thought of me, they'd remember that one sweet, tall girl from Hungary who played the piano so well, and what had happened to her after all?

See, if I were to be selfish, I’d say that those are the people I'm not that interested in. They're the ones who are replaceable; they are those people who are there when things are going well. There are always people like that around, and if one goes away, another will take his place. I'm more interested in the keepers, the people who care about me more than their own comfort. I want to know who those people are in my life who would sacrifice their time, energy, even money, to find me and pull me out from wherever I am.

I watch the many faces passing in front of me and wonder about their stories. Because each person has one, and they're all going through something. I wonder, do they have anyone who would care about them that way? Do they have people they can rely on and run to with any problem? I really hope so. One of the biggest needs in people's lives is the need to feel loved and accepted.

I sit back on the hard bench as I contemplate this. I wish I could be that person to more people. I wish I would reach out more, speak into others’ lives more, and love more. This world needs so much more love.